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[Rhodri]

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill,
a spokesman for North Westgas said "We agree it was rather high for the
time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up
during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)


Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in
her knickers. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her
Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evenings News)


Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because
they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they
don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)


A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was
rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman
commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)


At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the
spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied that he was
sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind
had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)


Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with
her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do
her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd
always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the
middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out "Heil Hitler".
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)

[Pyromaster2003]

haha, like the one with the girl getting blown out to sea on the inflatable teeth who was then rescuded by another cast away on a lobster haha