3 replies to this topic

[Rhodri]

> > > Something To Offend Nearly Everybody of BOTH sexes
> > >
> > > What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs.
> > > What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 mins.
> > >
> > > What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual Harassment.
> What
> > > is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? ?3.99 a minute.
> > >
> > > How can you tell if your wife is dead?
> > > The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
> > >
> > > How can you tell if your husband is dead?
> > > The sex is the same, but you get the remote control.
> > >
> > > What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?
> > > Humpme Dumpme.
> > >
> > > What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
> > > Marriage.
> > >
> > > How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
> > > None, they just sit there in the dark and complain.
> > >
> > > What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
> > > Through his chest with a sharp knife.
> > >
> > > What have women and floor tiles got in common?
> > > If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over
> > > them for life.
> > >
> > > Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring
> and
> > > good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
> > >
> > > What is a man's view of safe sex?
> > > A padded headboard.
> > >
> > > How do men sort their laundry?
> > > Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable"
> > >
> > > What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a

> > > year, the dog is still excited to see you.
> > >
> > > What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The

> > > same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
> > > driving.
> > >
> > > What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
> > >
> > > Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
> > > The guy who can have a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry
> > > a dozen donuts.
> > >
> > > Who is the most popular woman at the nudist colony?
> > > The woman who ate the last donut.
> > >
> > > What is the difference between a battery and a man?
> > > A battery has a positive side.
> > >
> > > A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in year 10. Who has the

> > > biggest breasts? The blonde, because she's 18.
> > >
> > > Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
> > > When you take it off, you wonder where the breasts went.
> > >
> > > Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
> > > Two mothers-in-law.
> > >
> > > How many men does it take to open a beer?
> > > None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
> > >
> > > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because

> > > a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be
> > > able
>
> > > to support you.
> > >
> > > Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> > > It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
> > > closer to the kitchen sink.
> > >
> > > How do you fix a woman's watch?
> > > You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> > >
> > > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
> > > at the front door, whom do you let in first? The dog of course.
> > > He'll shut up once you let him in.
> > >
> > > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> > > A woman that won't do what she's told.
> > >
> > > I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was
> > > Always.
> > >
> > > I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
> > > I don't like to interrupt her.
> > >
> > > What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his intelligence?
> Divorced.
> > >
> > > Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
> drive
> > > by 90%
> > >
> > > It is called Wedding Cake.
> > >
> > > Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
> > > Engagement Ring
> > > Wedding Ring,
> > > Suffering.
> > >
> > > Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
> > > I said, "Dust!"
> > >
> > > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> > > Then God created Man and rested.
> > > Then God created Woman.
> > > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
> > >
> > > A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive
> and
> > > said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him
> > > and
>
> > > said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
> > >
> > > Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
> > > a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> > > Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

[Richard H]

Where do you find this stuff?

[tajmiester]

Gold!, Pure Gold!

[Rhodri]

Umm...errr....I find it because I have a very busy job in IT.....it just ends up in my inbox. Of course, I need to 'vet' the material first. I also take a backup of it too - just like a good IT professional does!