10 replies to this topic

[Rhodri]

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on
an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
37) You only ever remember the worst jingles...(Where in the world? P.C.World!)
38) Old people really do smell of cabbage.
39) No-one has ever seen a baby called Terry.
40) In every classroom there is a kid who smells of wee.
41) You used to spend entire lessons wondering whether or not that kid was
you.
42) Then you realised you had been eating scampi flavoured Nik Naks at
break time.
43) Men are physically incapable of ironing.
44) Fred Dineage has stayed the same age for 25 years.
45) Men have to attempt at least 5 press ups after watching a Rocky film.
46) Everyone in Southampton knows Craig David.
47) You always cough when you call in sick.

[Phoenix]

My screen needs wiping...

[adamw]

Another sandwich related observation - 'Pressed' sandwiches taste better - ie if you make a sarnie with normal 'square' sliced bread, and then press it down with your hand it will taste nicer. Fact.

[Phoenix]

49) On hearing distant thunder, you always scan the sky for the lightning, even though you've known light travels faster than sound since you were three.

[Rhodri]

48) Adam - very, very true!

Pressed sarnies do taste better. However, when making a bacon sarnie, white (9p a loaf cheapo bread from Tesco) thick bread must be used. Soft enough that your fingers mash into the bread.

49) Very true Phoenix!

Here's a new one:

50) When you post a new mail to the BPS forum you always go to CHECK FOR NEW POSTS and re-read your mail.

Now tell me that no one does that!

[bernie]

Sarnies? If it were not for context....

Hot pressed Cubans not only are delicious they also clean the plaque off your teeth when made correctly.

# 50 I never do that.

[Phoenix]

I'll have to take your word on the bacon sandwiches - I'm a tree huggin' veggie.
However, a fried egg sandwich on Saturday morning (made with home grown eggs, of course) takes some beating. Is it common to put chilli sauce on them, or do I just have strange taste?

(I will now re read this message from "View New Posts")

Edited by Phoenix, 29 January 2004 - 10:57 PM.

[adamw]

Nothing wrong with chilli sauce. Goes well with just about everything.

I'd love to see your egg tree.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

How true.

[spawned]

I do and believe every one of these apart from the Rocky one as i still do press ups every day.

Oh and sharpening a pencil with a knife IS A VERY MANLY THING TO DO! i do it all the time when i need self assurance......

Edited by spawned, 05 April 2004 - 03:06 PM.

[bmiller14]

thats normal compared to mydad he eats eggs & salsa and rice crispies and strawberry yogert every morning.

[Pazza]

I'd love to see your egg tree.

Didnt anyone ever tell you that eggs come from chooks??