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New ZEN rules for wise living


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#1 Rhodri

Rhodri

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Posted 23 April 2003 - 12:47 PM

? Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I
may not follow.

Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.

In fact, just f#k off and leave me alone.

? The journey of a thousand miles begins
with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

? The darkest hour is just before dawn.
So if you're going to steal from your
neighbour, that's the time to do it.

? Sex is like air. It's not important unless
you aren't getting any.

? Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be
replaced, you can't be promoted.

? No one is listening until you fart.

? Always remember you're unique. Just
like everyone else.

? Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

? If you think nobody cares whether
you're alive or dead, try missing a
couple of mortgage payments.

? Before you criticize someone, you
should walk a mile in his or her shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

? If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is
not for you.

? Give a man a fish and he will eat for a
day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

? If you lend someone $20 and never see
that person again, it was probably
worth it.

? If you tell the truth, you don't have to
remember anything.

? Some days you are the bug; some days
you are the windscreen.

? Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first
time.

? Good judgment comes from bad
experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.

? The quickest way to double your money
is to fold it in half and put it back in
your pocket.

? A closed mouth gathers no foot.

? Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light
side and a dark side, and it holds
the universe together.

? There are two theories to arguing with
women. Neither one works.

? Generally speaking, you aren't learning
much when your lips are moving.

? Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it.

? Never miss a good chance to shut up.

? We are born naked, wet, and hungry,
and get slapped on our arse...then
things get worse.

[Edited on 23-4-2003 by Rhodri]




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