? Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I
may not follow.
Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.
In fact, just f#k off and leave me alone.
? The journey of a thousand miles begins
with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
? The darkest hour is just before dawn.
So if you're going to steal from your
neighbour, that's the time to do it.
? Sex is like air. It's not important unless
you aren't getting any.
? Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be
replaced, you can't be promoted.
? No one is listening until you fart.
? Always remember you're unique. Just
like everyone else.
? Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
? If you think nobody cares whether
you're alive or dead, try missing a
couple of mortgage payments.
? Before you criticize someone, you
should walk a mile in his or her shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
? If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is
not for you.
? Give a man a fish and he will eat for a
day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
? If you lend someone $20 and never see
that person again, it was probably
worth it.
? If you tell the truth, you don't have to
remember anything.
? Some days you are the bug; some days
you are the windscreen.
? Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first
time.
? Good judgment comes from bad
experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
? The quickest way to double your money
is to fold it in half and put it back in
your pocket.
? A closed mouth gathers no foot.
? Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light
side and a dark side, and it holds
the universe together.
? There are two theories to arguing with
women. Neither one works.
? Generally speaking, you aren't learning
much when your lips are moving.
? Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it.
? Never miss a good chance to shut up.
? We are born naked, wet, and hungry,
and get slapped on our arse...then
things get worse.
[Edited on 23-4-2003 by Rhodri]
New ZEN rules for wise living
Started by Rhodri, Apr 23 2003 12:47 PM
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