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Firework Jokes!


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#1 pyroman247

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Posted 03 March 2007 - 10:20 PM

Chinese man to American man:
"You are not us clever as us. We discovered gunpowder and used it for fireworks. You used it in guns."

You might be a redneck if...
your lifelong goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
A: DINOMITE!



A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.

"You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."

"Oh yes dear, what happened ?"

"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."

"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them ?"

"Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."

#2 karlfoxman

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Posted 03 March 2007 - 11:16 PM

The last one is good, made me chuckle! :D

#3 TomTom

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Posted 04 March 2007 - 05:06 PM

Chinese man to American man:
"You are not us clever as us. We discovered gunpowder and used it for fireworks. You used it in guns."

You might be a redneck if...
your lifelong goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Rubbish

Edited by TomTom, 04 March 2007 - 05:07 PM.


#4 Omnutia

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Posted 28 March 2007 - 10:19 PM

Sort of a chemistry related joke:
"Charlie was a chemist
Charlie is no more
What he thought was H20 was H2SO4"

#5 parabolic

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Posted 31 March 2007 - 10:11 PM

This is a poem/joke, I read when I was a kid... in some joke book but I remember it well and I guess its true..

November the 5th has come and gone...
But some of the things still linger.
I held a banger in my hand..
has anyone seen my finger!

#6 Rick

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Posted 04 April 2007 - 03:12 PM

How many Pyrotechnicians does it take to change a wheel?

#7 BrightStar

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Posted 04 April 2007 - 03:37 PM

How many Pyrotechnicians does it take to change a wheel?

Two - one to hold the torch to light the driver...

or

Depends if they are Saxons...

Do I win? :)

Edited by BrightStar, 04 April 2007 - 04:15 PM.


#8 dr thrust

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Posted 05 November 2011 - 12:26 PM

How many safety inspectors does it take to light the bonfire?
4. One to light the match and three to hold the fire extinguisher :)

#9 Mortartube

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Posted 05 November 2011 - 03:03 PM

I knew a bloke at a firework factory who put a kilo of flashpowder up his bum and lit the fuse. He was reported and discharged.
Organisation is a wonderful trait in others

#10 dr thrust

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Posted 18 November 2011 - 07:08 PM

not a firework joke:
but great news for insomniacs, only three more sleeps to xmas :)

#11 dr thrust

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Posted 24 December 2011 - 04:08 PM

just bought myself a barge pole for Christmas, well thought i'd push the boat out this year :)

#12 dr thrust

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Posted 07 July 2015 - 04:59 PM

What do you do with a dead chemist ? ..... You barium

#13 BlackCat

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Posted 04 August 2015 - 03:26 PM

Old chemists never die, they just cease to react!



#14 BlackCat

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Posted 06 August 2015 - 02:04 PM

How about:

 

Cuddle a chemist and see the reaction!






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