31 replies to this topic

[bernie]

So... the way I have this all figured we're all sitting around a big table yucking it up and having a grand old time. Honcho is over at the head of the table in a place of honor with Adam over on one side of him with a long pointy stick poking people. Honcho says nothing but constantly is flip flopping a chess piece in one hand.

Every so often Big starts to say" Barnie, you antagonistic w**ker will you please listen to reason". I just change the topic. Our shining light Matt is somewhere in the mix cutting stars and rolling shell casings, thinking to himself"All these guys do is sit around and yak. Crikey!, are we ever gonna get to light anything. Frustrated, he lights a piece of visco in the ashtray and grins.

A nubile young stripper walks in and we completely ignore her.

Pyromaster is trying to punch a hole in the side of a tin can so he can jab in a fuse. Someone takes away his can before he knows that it even happened.

Simon doesn't look up but does pat the stripper on the bottom. She sits down next to him.

Rhodri is wearing.........

[Matt]

What the dikkins?

[BigG]

Bernie - you are in the wrong profession. You should do the next Harry Potter. :duh:

[adamw]

....a high-vis orange safety suit, protective headwear and a face shield. He'll be needing it if PyroMaster is going to start playing with cans. He looks completely out of place of course, as everyone else is wearing shirts, ties and waistcoats. That is, apart from Pyromaster himself who is still wearing the (quite fetching) regalia of HM Prison Wormwood Scrubs.

The nubile young wench/stripper turns suggestively towards Simon, who, apart from the initial ass-slapping, is apparantly ignoring her. She turns to Rob J instead, but before they manage to make eye contact, Adam takes a authorative swing at Rob with his stick.

Turned on by this, she struts her way over to Adam. She sits on his lap and begins to run her fingers seductively around his chest. FFFFSSHH!... a charcoal pumped star being tested by Matt darts across the room, scaring the stripper. She runs for the door and leaves. Adam scowls, patting his stick on the palm of his hand, rather annoyed. Honcho grins and says....

[Richard H]

...anyone fancy a extra value big mac meal now with extra bread? All who agree that Bernie and Stuart should go raise your hand.

Everyone raises there hand, and with that Bernie grabs Stuart and they leave the room. Meanwhile in his boredom, pyromaster just can't help but...

[bernie]

In the background...

( Wiley Coyote and Roadrunner is playing on the TV. The coyote is opening a wooden crate from the ACME Corp. )

[adamw]

Everyone at the table turns towards the set and rub their hands together in anticipation of what is in the box (its bound to be something that goes bang)...

[smpip]

Pyromaster holds up a small cube of gelatinous material and declares (with a loud voice and a huge grin) that he has made some R.D.X. from earwax (that he has been collecting religiously) and some washing soda from under the sink, His parole officer (shocked) looks towards the Super for confirmation of whether Chris has breached the rules of his parole, Richard and Adam both jut their chins out and shake their heads in the negative. Simon looks up and wonders were the stripper went?

[bernie]

The powerful urge to run her fingers through Simons beard has drawn the wench quitely back into the room. A sharp metallic TING is heard coming from outdoors followed by a horrible moaning. Rhodri clears his throat......

[Rhodri]

He clears his throat with the sound of an old Gattling gun. His breath is laboured, his hands flex. The whites of his knuckles show.

"If only! If only I'd thought of that!" Rhodri exclaims.

"Mac Donald's chargrilled left overs - they must be full of pyro material!"

The stick. The Head Honcho. Mr Big. THE MAIN MAN - Looks over and realises that he has been rumbled.

"Simon's beard has more potential than Mac Donalds will ever have! If only they knew....." Head Honcho says.

Adam looks on, forgetting for one moment that he too, could be the "Main Man".

"Now is the time, now is MY time....." says Adam.

[smpip]

Wiley coyote gets it, full in the face!! Simon smiles, then turns away from the cartoon and looks at Richard while unconsciously bringing his hand up to cover his beard, and pushes the strippers hand away.
Richards words ring in his head, "what was that about potential???" he ask's.

[Edited on 2-8-2003 by smpip]

[adamw]

...as if Adam had read Simon's mind, he turns to him and utters:

"Bear in mind the tale of 'sihackett29', who has been banished from this land. Let no man speak his name again. It was my duty as a protector of the forum to rid this place of such evil. Maybe you have it in you too. Once your training is complete we can rule the forum as father and son..."

Simon, who had during above conversation hacked his hand off, yelled:

"NOOO! Its not true!"...

[smpip]

Richard was shaking Adam violently, it appeared that Adam had a wide eyed crazed look and fixed grin, he was kinda phased out, they said he might get these episodes, none the less it was still disconcerting to see them!!!
Adam seemed to "come round" from his day dreaming(?) looked at Simon and exclaimed "your hand, its alright!!" Simon responded with a bemused expression and replied "yes??".
Pyromaster walking around with an armful of empty toilet paper tubes, and was trying to score some PVA.

[adamw]

He walked close to where Rob J was sitting, and thought he had struck gold on the PVA front, for a large pool of viscous white liquid was on the floor around his chair. Unfortunately for Pyromaster, it wasnt PVA. Maybe this was becaue Rob was listening to Electric Six.

(no hard feelings Mr. J - but I had to do it before you did it to me!)

Disturbed and disappointed, Pyromaster continues to scout around for the glue. He asks Bernie if he has any, but can't understand what the hell he is saying. And why does he have to finish every sentence off with "Y'all"?

Not giving up, Pyromaster has another plan to get his PVA...

[smpip]

Bernie offers Chris a container with a label that reads "GLUE" on its side, Pyromaster yanks it from Bernies hand with such force that he ends up getting a fair amount over his face, he can't help but taste it, "HEY" he exclaims "this PVA has been cut with wheat paste???"
Bernie just grins and replies "don't knock it til yer try it!"
Simon squarks "anyone for Parlon?", he keeps doing this every now and again, the way he goes on about Parlon, you would think he had shares in the company!
A bottle of (Clark's 1866 sourmash) Whisky is being passed around the table.