7 replies to this topic

[Richard H]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement where by
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known
as "EuroEnglish".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear
up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and
they
should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understandech
ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!

[PanMaster]

hmm, you'd have to a dum dum not to spell, that writing is crazy, you can't be serious

Edited by PanMaster, 05 November 2003 - 05:48 PM.

[willd]

thats good ididnt realise what was happening till the end

[PanMaster]

"ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!"
that is just bizarre

[lord_dranack]

Apparently, when the USA was being formed back in the 18thC, they were voting for the official language, and german only lost by 1 vote!!!
(random, but kind of relevant)

Edited by lord_dranack, 19 November 2003 - 02:17 PM.

[Richard H]

hmm, you'd have to a dum dum not to spell, that writing is crazy, you can't be serious

Did someone remove your sense of humour or do you always semanticaly analyse jokes before evaluating whether to laugh or not?

[zanes]

I MUST show this to my german friends at school. WOT!

[The_Djinn]

wasnt going to start a new thread for this little news item I just spoted so I decided to tuck it away in here..

"LONDON (Reuters) - The United States Air Force says it is investigating how one of its fighter jets dropped an unarmed charge on the Yorkshire countryside last week.

There were no injuries and only "limited property damage" in the incident which happened around 5:15 p.m. last Thursday, a USAF spokesman said.

The 25 lb practice charge was dropped by a F-15E Strike Eagle on a routine training run from a base at RAF Lakenheath in Suffolk, eastern England.

The charge landed in a "sparsely-populated area" near the town of Market Weighton in Yorkshire, the spokesman added.

"Trained and experienced base personnel including Ministry of Defence, and local constabulary authorities responded to the scene and an investigation team is determining the cause the incident," the spokesman said."

Why cant they drop something a little more useful to us like 25lb tubes of KCIO4 around the countryside and various other items we battle to get hold of that our American counterparts pick up at there local K-Mart whilst doing there monthly shopping